Indian Wedding

A few weeks ago I went to a Rowena and Dhruv’s wedding in Delhi. It was an amazing trip for me as I’d never been to India or an Indian wedding – and having a close friend to experience her big day there – it was a chance I couldn’t miss. Besides if you’ve ever seen ‘Monsoon Wedding’, how could you miss that?

Like most Indian weddings the festivities took place over four or five days. The different ceremonies, the food, the dancing – it was like being a part of a fairytale. The ceremony itself was, as one the oldest aunts told me, a transition of the bride passing over inexorably into the groom’s family. (She was the wildest aunt I’ve ever met. Over 70 and easily the best dancer and the one who made sure everyone was up and having fun and enjoying themselves – and none of it alcohol induced). Some might say marriage is the husband then passing over his rights inexorably to his wife – but that would be the cynic in me, and weddings aren’t a time for cynicism.

The first ceremony started with a reading of the Hindu scriptures and passed through various ceremonies of farewell, cleansing, acceptance and betrothal. I won’t pretend to have understood half of what was going on but it was clear to me that in all of the occasions there was an absolute harmony between honoring the ceremony and their significance – balanced having fun and enjoying the moment without getting too worried with formalities.

There were incredible saris, loads of jewelry, the intricate detail of different rites – and while there was meaning for everyone in all of this – everyone had their own version of what that meaning meant! And while all this ceremony was going on people chatted away merrily, came and went, children ran around and there was a carnival atmosphere. And at the end, and sometimes even at the beginning, there was dancing and music.

The Australian friends and family who were there were all blown away by the generosity and hospitality of the groom’s family. And I was particularly lucky because as Rowena’s honary brother I got to participate and be a part of the main ceremony – so I really felt a part of the occasion.

What is it about weddings that seem to bring out the best in people? Maybe it’s a re-confirmation that love is still important. For us singles I think weddings give us hope that love still exists, that people still find it, and so can we. Even for those up for a second time around. Of course it’s also often a chance to hook up with other romantic souls! But that was never on the cards in India - but at the end of the night, or even after four days of ceremonies and tears and too much dancing and food, no one was complaining.

And what of India? Well I can only speak of Delhi, and a rather well off Delhi at that, but I loved it. It was not at all what I expected, but it was also completely different from a lot of Asia that I experienced. In particular I had an experience at The Taj Mahal that was quite surreal.

I said in an email to a friend recently that the palace itself was lovely but it was more the overall experience and my reaction to it that made it special. It's kind of hard to explain but in my mind I've often had for many years a dream/vision of a scene where I am sitting meditatively under a tree, on a hill with the sun on my face and a gentle breeze blowing, and a stream flowing down below. I guess it's a vision that always puts me at ease - whether it's a past life or just a scene I've made up to make life easier sometimes or maybe it's something I will one day experience - I don't know. That day my trip to Agra felt like that kind of experience - the air or the weather there or the breeze or the calmness I felt was like experiencing that scene all over again. Kind of trippy and difficult to explain - but there you go.

Sounds like the typical westerner talking about his “spiritual home" and all that guff but there was something very familiar about it - a calmness of the mind that was exactly the tonic I needed after the madness of Bangkok. Next stop nirvana right? Well maybe not, but I would love to get to India again some time soon.

Congrats Row, a fantastic wedding, a great family and an amazing trip.